|
Hidden Settings in Microsoft
Office 2000
And to think we've gotten it wrong all these years!
"While visiting family over Christmas break my uncle shared
this story with us. My cousin Joey (age 5) was spending the night with his
nanny. He likes the computer and needs something to keep him busy so she let
him play on the computer by himself. Obviously the house was pretty quiet so
my uncle peeked in on him. Joey was on the floor with the keyboard across
his lap. He had taken all the keys off the keyboard! My uncle,
understandably upset, asked him (in a not so nice manner) what he was doing.
Joey replied 'I was just taking the keys off to put them back on in abc
order. I wanted to make it easier for Nanny to type!' Makes sense to
me!"
". . . So should I reboot, or stick birthday
candles in it?"
"In an elementary school which I visited as part of
the District Tech. Assessment, we were told that when a kindergarten class
was visiting the lab, they were discussing a problem with PC's
"freezing up."
After a few minutes, one of the kindergarteners raised
his/her hand and reported, 'Mrs. Teacher, my computer is frosted!'"
Blue Screens of Death We'll Never See Department
|
| The rain isn't real either!
You might notice that computers don't operate the
same when they appear in movies as they do in real life. Look
closely next time you're in that favorite multiplex . .
.
- Word processors never display a cursor.
- Actors never have to use the space-bar when
typing long sentences.
- All monitors display inch-high letters.
- You can gain access to any
information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE
SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
- All computers are connected. You can access the
information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's
turned off.
- The really advanced computers emulate the sound
of a dot-matrix printer. (See The Hunt For Red October or Alien)
- All computer panels have thousands of volts and
flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are
indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of
sparks, and an explosion that forces you backwards.
- A hacker can get into the most sensitive
computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret
password in two tries.
- Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
- No matter what kind of computer disk it is,
it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application
software is usable by all computer platforms.
- The more high-tech the equipment, the more
buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained,
because none of the buttons are labeled.
- Whenever a character looks at a screen, the
image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face
(see Alien, 2001, Jurassic Park).
- The internet connects to everything. You can edit credit records, search hotel registries,
lookup police criminal files, search (and edit) drivers license
databases, edit social security files and more just using the
internet! (see The Net).
|
|