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In celebration of writing and literacy, The
Network is Down... brings you Computer Haiku
From Dictionary.com:
hai·ku (h  k )
n. pl. haiku, also hai·kus
- A Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of
five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an
aspect of nature or the seasons...
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Your file was so
big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank. |
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 ...shut down a computer, only
to discover that, a few seconds after it turns itself off, the CD you
need is still in the tray?
...wondered
why the sound clip art in your document didn't print out? (A submitted student
HYE!)
...gotten
off an elevator only to notice that half a severed power
cord you were transporting was in your hand, with the other half still on
the floor you just left? (A note from our contributor, who asked to
remain anonymous: "Remember the old Far Side cartoon, where a man
steps into a crowded elevator with a lion? He calmly reassures the crowd
that there is nothing to worry about unless the lion gets startled. Then
you notice that about one foot of the lion’s tail is sticking out the
door as it is about to close...")
...reached
down to open the CD-ROM tray on an old IBM, and accidentally turned off
the computer? (Thanks, Barbara, for that confession!)
...had a problem computer fix
itself as the tech support person walked into the room, only to return to
its previously dysfunctional condition immediately after s/he leaves? (Not
technically a HYE, but still true!)
(An additional HYE was submitted by a member of the
FCPS-TRT-L discussion forum, but as it was insulting to this writer -
something about his penchant for being overly verbal and obscure - it is omitted
here...;-)
Do you have a HYE? Are you
willing to 'fess up, and join the ranks of the humble? Send
us your humbling experience, and we'll send you an electronic copy of
the crest of the Royal Order of HYE!
Blue Screens of Death you'll Never See
Department
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